The Least Romantic Thing You’ll Be Glad You Discussed
In partnership with Lindsays
Sienna Miller and Dominic West in War, where a spectacularly expensive divorce gives us all something to think about. Image courtesy of Sky.
It’s hardly the most romantic conversation, but talking about money deserves a place alongside making plans for your life together. Nina Taylor, Partner in Family Law and Chair of Lindsays, explains why it’s worth having, even if the wedding was years ago.
Watching the big-budget divorce drama War, with Sienna Miller and Dominic West navigating a spectacularly expensive marital breakdown, does get you thinking about the less romantic side of sharing your life with someone.
OK, most of us don’t have a billion or two tied up in a tech company. But we do have the home we live in, perhaps a shared business, savings or investments. And that can make the conversation we least want to have one of the most important.
If you’re in the throes of planning your wedding, talking about what might happen if you separate is unlikely to top the to-do list. There’s a venue to choose, a guest list to sort and something to wear to find. If you’re already married, you might assume the moment for that conversation has passed.
Most of us know what a prenup is, but perhaps assume it’s for Hollywood stars and captains of industry. In fact, it’s designed to set out how your assets would be dealt with if you separate. And if you’re already married, let us introduce you to the postnup, which serves much the same purpose. So whether the wedding is months away or years behind you, there’s still time to plan ahead.
Talk About Your Future
When you’re building a life together, talking about what might happen if things change can feel awkward. That’s understandable. An agreement doesn’t mean you’re expecting your relationship to end. But it does give you space to discuss what matters to each of you and record how you would want certain financial matters handled.
Perhaps one of you is contributing more towards a home. Perhaps you’ve built a business, or have children from a previous relationship whose future you want to consider. The starting point is your own circumstances, rather than a one-size-fits-all document.
Moving In Together?
Sharing keys is an exciting step, but it’s worth understanding what living together means legally. In Scotland, cohabiting couples have certain rights, but these are not the same as those of married couples or civil partners. That difference can matter if you separate or one of you dies.
Starting with a cohabitation agreement can help you set out your intentions, particularly when you’re buying a home together. It’s a way to discuss the practical details while you’re making plans, rather than leaving questions unanswered.
For example, you could agree what would happen to your home if the relationship ended, or whether someone would receive their contribution to the deposit back if the property were sold. Your solicitor can help you work through the details that are important to you.
Planning A Wedding?
Prenuptial agreements are increasingly popular in Scotland. They can be especially useful if you’re bringing assets into a marriage or have children from a previous relationship. An agreement can set out how assets would be divided, or which you intend to keep separate, if you later separate.
The content will depend on your circumstances and concerns. Giving yourselves time to talk it through matters, too: this is a conversation best approached thoughtfully, rather than squeezed between last-minute wedding arrangements. However unromantic, the short story is that your pre-nup will make everything clearer before you say ‘i do’.
Already Said ‘I Do’? There’s Still Time
A postnuptial agreement serves a similar purpose, but is made after a wedding or civil partnership. You may simply not have got round to an agreement beforehand. Or life may have moved on: perhaps you’ve had children, received a windfall or made changes to a business or career. A postnup can also offer a way to revisit arrangements made before marriage.
There’s no need to treat the wedding date as a deadline you’ve missed. What matters is taking the time to reach an agreement that reflects your circumstances. Fairness is important: a court can set aside a prenup or postnup if it was not fair and reasonable when it was entered into. Neither person should feel pressured to sign.
A Little Clarity For The Life You’re Building
Whether you’re unpacking boxes or looking back on your wedding day, understanding your options can make the next conversation feel easier. At Lindsays, we’ll listen to what you’re hoping for, explain what an agreement can cover and help you decide what’s right for your situation.
Lindsays has been helping individuals, families, businesses and charities for more than 200 years. With offices across Scotland, the firm’s approach combines legal expertise with an understanding of the people behind each situation. For advice on prenups, postnups or cohabitation agreements, contact the team at Lindsays.
This article provides general information about the position in Scotland, rather than advice on your individual circumstances.his article provides general information about the position in Scotland, rather than advice on your individual circumstances.