Experiencing social anxiety? You're not alone...

After months of self-isolation, we asked an expert for actionable ways to combat the social anxiety and the fear of going out many of us will now face

Image: Kelly Sikkema via Unsplash

Social anxiety is more common than you might think—in fact, in the UK, it's one of the most common forms of anxiety, going as far as to affect one in ten people. However, after what we've collectively endured over the past couple of months, we think it's fair to assume that there will be a significant rise in the number of people affected by it. 

Social anxiety is more than shyness—it's an often intense fear that does not go away and affects every day the sufferer's ability to begin and maintain relationships, engage in activities, and can cripple their self-confidence. And after a prolonged time spent with minimal contact with others, you're certainly not alone if you find yourself feeling this way.

‘Social anxiety is generally related to a deeply rooted belief,’ reveals Kate Mayor, an Edinburgh-based hypnotherapist (Hypnosis-edinburgh.co.uk). ‘Often, sufferers will repeatedly tell themselves that they’re not good or not interesting enough, but that simply just isn’t the case. To overcome it, you need to work hard to silence the negative voice in your mind.’ How, you ask? By following these eight anxiety management solutions. 

EDUCATE YOURSELF
Educate yourself on what anxiety is, social and otherwise. If you've had it before, try to understand your background and where it may come from—genetics, experiences, etc. Identifying where it comes from, be it historical or new, will better enable you to treat it properly. 

TURN IT ON ITS HEAD
It's important to engage with your anxiety, not run from it. Feel the discomfort, and then challenge it. Avoiding or trying to keep it at bay is not only exhausting, but it's counterproductive and will wind up, causing you more anxiety.

EMBRACE REALISTIC THINKING
Not to be confused with 'positive thinking,' 'realistic thinking' reminds you that things are not as bad as you think, and there is great comfort in that. In your mind, it's easy to come up with worst-case scenarios, but nothing ever plays out as terribly as your imagination would have you believe. Use realistic thinking to assuage your anxiety. 

PLANNING IS POWER
If the prospect of social engagements or interactions is making you feel anxious, have a plan before attending. Think of things to talk about, who may be there, and what you may want to ask people. Preparing will make you feel more in control of the situation. 

AVOID EXCESS
Be aware of the amount of alcohol or caffeine you're consuming, as this will negatively reinforce your anxiety. Sure, it may take the edge off in the moment, but it is an unhealthy coping skill that you don't want to rely on. That said, be sure not to leave a function unnecessarily early—it will increase your fear as it will seem to confirm that you ‘can’t handle’ it. Stay as long as you can, and make sure to congratulate yourself in doing so afterwards; it’s a great achievement that’lll get easier with time. 

DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF
Don't compare how you are feeling to how everyone else looks like they're feeling. That increases your anxiety. For all you know, everyone is feeling the same feelings that you are.

LIVE IN THE MOMENT
Anticipatory anxiety is often worse than the actual anxiety. We feel anxious, leading up to an event or interaction because we play out scenarios or picture ourselves feeling awkward. Make a plan, and then be in the moment—don't live in the make-believe in-between.

SPEAK TO YOUR DOCTOR
Most importantly, if your anxiety is crippling and ongoing, seek helpful advice from your GP. Support is key to overcoming anxiety, so don't suffer alone.